I’m going to admit it. I’m addicted to being busy. Busyness has taken over my life entirely, and it doesn’t seem to be slowing down. It’s not just my life it’s taken over, it’s taken over my friends’ lives too. Just recently I invited a couple over for dinner. I gave them dates at the beginning of January to choose from. After going back and forth we finally found a date that mutually worked for us…in March. The busyness badge has been something I have chosen to wear as a badge of honor and is a habit I will break in 2020 before it breaks me.
But Why Though?
I should probably start by letting you know why I have chosen 2020 to the year of the word no….you see, I have this problem where I am seemingly unable to say no, no matter if I want to or not. Here is the best example of my inability to say no.
Yes, that is me in a bunny costume at the pulpit of our church. Do I need to say more to prove I have an issue? Doubtful.
I have encouraged minimalism to take over my life in so many ways, but I have procrastinated on allowing it into the realm of activities. By gaining control of this I will be closer to the minimalist life I have envisioned.
You see, I currently work 30+ hours a week, manage my family, volunteer for Girl Scouts, volunteer as Classroom Mom and as co-chair of our HOAs social committee. I spend my spare time shuffling kids around to all their playdates/school events/activities, and I also find an insane amount of time to squeeze in social activities for myself as well. As I write this blog, I am barely able to keep my eyes open. It’s 5 am…and it’s the only time I can find to write. I am exhausted and overwhelmed by the events that took place over our holiday season. Don’t get me wrong, we had a wonderful holiday season, but I am left with the desire to take a week to sleep my life away in order to function at a normal level again…which leaves me wondering, is this really how I should be living my life?
Being ridiculously busy is a choice, and until now…it has been my choice. I have suffered from self-inflicted busyness in my life and it has become detrimental to my mindset and overall well-being. In digging more into my choice to stay busy, I discovered it comes from the desire to prove my worth to those around me by overachieving. The fact that I have been able to keep up this pace for so long is crazy to me. I have been pushed myself so hard to be productive that it is as if I have forgotten to open my eyes along the way.
So, that’s exactly what I am going to do this year. I’m going to observe more, focus on being present, disconnecting from technology for extended periods of time, and I’m going to learn to say no. My hope is that by stepping back I will not only develop deeper, more meaningful relationships, but I will also be more creative and can focus on my desire to become a better writer.
Mindful.org says, “When we slow down momentarily and let go of doing things, we allow the brain to let go of the immediate urge for dopamine and we can focus and choose our actions out of clarity and freedom, rather than impulses. That way we can better pursue the larger goals in life like kindness, happiness or whatever it may be. By slowing down, we can speed up.” In slowing down, my intention is not self-depravation. It is to make thoughtful and wise choices, prioritizing quality time and experiences.
I want to lay this all out on the table for you because I need you to understand that three years into minimalism I am still as far from perfect as the next Joe. But the way minimalism has helped me in my life is incredible. It has pushed me to strive for a more intentional life, and for that I am thankful. As I approach midnight and the ball drops, my main goal will be to say no.